


The Countdown

by Too_Many_Ships_Not_Enough_Time



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anorexic Castiel (Supernatural), Depression, M/M, Self-Harm, all the anxietys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-11-18 17:56:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11295783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Too_Many_Ships_Not_Enough_Time/pseuds/Too_Many_Ships_Not_Enough_Time
Summary: Everybody has a clock on their wrists that counts down until they meet their soulmate. Sam Winchester has been waiting for all of his 14 years, and his older brother Dean has been waiting for his 18. They've been watching the clock countdown slowly, till the third week of September, when school started back up.*Meanwhile, Castiel has had his clock covered since he was six, and ten years later, he is beginning to feel like he should look at it. His older brother, Gabriel, has watched that clock for as long as he can remember.*And now, we begin.





	1. Reach For The Sky

Dean shoved some eggs onto Sam's plate. "Ok, Sam, I know this is new, but you have to try this high school." Sam sighed. "Dean, I didn't have a problem with the last school. We were barely there and then you got kicked out for breaking and entering. I just had to go with you because of dad." Dean smirked. "Oh yeah. That's what happened."

Sam shoveled the eggs into his mouth. Dean started to clean up the remains of the cooked breakfasts. "Sammy, I'm sorry to rush you, but school starts in about half an hour, and we have to get there early. So, eat your eggs, get your stuff together, and meet me in the Impala. Dad's working a case, but he says have a good day at school." Sam nodded while scrambling to finish the eggs on his plate. Dean clapped Sam on the back. "Also, you can have my old jacket. I'm stealing dad's." Sam smiled. 

Dean moved into his room, sliding on a black undershirt, a black overshirt, a pair of jeans, his combat boots, his favourite flannel, and his dad's old leather jacket. He pulled the charm on the leather slide that Sam had given him years ago out from under his scandalous lack of shirts so it rested on the black shirt. He took his time getting ready, finally grabbing the keys to the Impala and making his way out. He met Sam outside, and slid into the car. "Ready for the first day of school?"

"As I'll ever be."

*********************************

Cas sighed. "Do I have to go today? Nothing's gonna happen." Gabriel stuck a cherry lollipop into Cas' mouth. "Yes, you have to go. Who knows, you might meet your soulmate today." Cas scoffed. "Gabriel, for the last ten years I haven't looked at my watch. For five years of that, most of the covers that have covered the watch have been bandages. Nothing's gonna change." Cas ripped out the lollipop from his mouth and held it in his hand, rolling it over. Gabriel pushed the lollipop back into Cas' mouth. "Eat. You're going to school. No complaints." Cas sighed, but sucked on the lollipop. Gabe stood up and walked over to Cas' closet. "Alright, you want your normal outfit of white dress shirt, blue tie, black pants, black shoes, and trench coat?" Cas nodded, sitting down on the bed. 

Gabe pulled out the outfit and began to undress his brother. "Really, Cassie, you're going to have to dress yourself one day." Gabe pulled the dress shirt over his brother's slim frame. Cas shivered. Gabe frowned. "You need to eat. You're wasting away." Cas shrugged. "I don't care. Can we just get this day over with?" Gabe frowned harder. "Fine. But don't think that I didn't see the fresh cuts. Be safe today Cassie, okay?" Cas nodded. "I can tie my tie and put on the coat. Go get yourself ready." Gabe nodded, ruffling his little brother's hair and standing up. "I'll see you at school."


	2. Story Of My Life

Cas slid his arms into his trenchcoat, his favourite piece of clothing. It smelled warm, and in turn was warm. He pulled it over his clothes, relishing in the heat it brought. Slowly, Cas moved down the hallway, leaning on the hallway to balance as the room was spinning. He sat down at a chair, sighing as he took a break. He ran his hands through his hair, groaning as some strands fell out. Cas let the strands fall through his fingers.

There was a sigh from the hallway. Turning, Cas saw Gabriel, his face falling as he watched Cas' shoulders slump.

"Cas, c'mon. You've got to eat something. We can buy those ramen packets you really like, or something else if you don't exactly want that right now. Talk to me kiddo, what do you want to eat? No isn't an option though, just that."

With that, Cas broke. His shoulders fell farther down-if at all possible-and started to shake, his breath coming in heaving sobs. Gabriel rushed towards his brother, wrapping his arms around the small frame. With that, Cas cried harder, and Gabe rocked back and forth, sh-hing his little brother. "It's okay kiddo, I'm always here for you, got that? I've got you. You're safe. I know, it's tough, but I'm here, okay? Let's get some food in you, it'll be nice."

Cas nodded, his chest heaving as his brother picked him up and settled him down on a chair. Gabe crouched next to Cas. "I'll get some fruit, you just stay here." Cas sniffled and nodded, tears still streaming down his face. Gabriel stood, pausing at the door as he exited the room.

*******************

2 days, 12 minutes, and 13 seconds...

*******************

Sam stared out the window, watching the trees and the neighborhood flew by. He looked down at his wrist, watching the clock countdown the seconds. "Dean? My clock's getting closer and closer." Dean turned and smiled at his younger brother. "You get to meet your soulmate soon, Sammy," Dean looked down at his wrist. "And I do too." Sam smiled, watching the neighborhood with a new enthusiasm, wondering if his soulmate could live in this neighborhood. Or this one. Or this. Paused at a stop light, Dean himself pondered his soulmate. Would she be pretty, tall? Dark hair or light hair? Curvy? Or, what would he be like? Muscular? Taller than Dean? Dean shook his head. No one was taller than Dean. Sam was predicted to be, but Dean was taller. For now.

Sam smiled, picturing his soulmate. He didn't care about the gender, all he wanted was someone who would love him. Preferably with long hair, maybe a golden brown. Eyes like when the setting sun hits a glass of whiskey. A prankster.

Dean knew what he wanted. Short, black, hair; eyes like chips of glass. Someone with whom Dean could cuddle with in the morning, who he could kiss good morning and goodnight, who he'd be happy to go home to after a long day. He wanted someone there for him.

All that would be soon, Dean reminded himself. Not much longer now.

******************

2 days, 5 minutes, 45 seconds.

******************

"There we go, Cas. Just a little more. Not much left now." Gabriel handed another strawberry to his little brother, watching the frail arm tremble as he brought the red fruit to his mouth. Cas bit into the strawberry, feeling his body nearly reject the food. This was more than he'd eaten in three days, and it felt weird, but good. He took another bite, chewed, and swallowed it. Gabe smiled. "There it is, kiddo. There we go. You're done, you can stop."

Cas sighed in relief, setting down the top of the strawberry. Gabe ruffled Cas' hair. "Alright kiddo, you don't have to go to school today. And I'm not either. We're going to make sure that you're okay." Cas nodded, shivering. Gabriel pulled off Cas' trenchcoat and untied his tie, replacing both with a blanket that was pulled up to Cas' neck. "Get some sleep, Cassie," Gabe murmured softly, sitting back on his heels and watching his brother's eyes close. "Get some sleep, and dream about something good."


	3. Don't Drag Me Down

Gabe watched his little brother sleep, posed on the chair next to Cas. Gabe reached under the seat cushion, pulling out a bag of sweets. He then removed a hard carmel, unwrapped it, and popped it in his mouth. He sighed, pondering if his youngest sibling would ever be okay. Cas turned in his sleep, his eyelashes fluttering. Gabriel sat up straighter, prepared to wake up and move his brother if necessary. Cas curled tightly into a ball, trembling slightly. Gabriel stood, moving close to his little brother. Cas whimpered, recoiling from an invisible blow. Gabriel reached out and touched his brother's shoulder, shaking it gently. "Cas, hey, kiddo, wake up." Cas jerked awake, panting heavily. Cas sunk back into the seat.  
"The normal dream?"  
Cas nodded. Gabe pulled his brother into a hug. "It's okay, it's just a dream. We're not there anymore. You're not in danger anymore. He can't hurt you. You're safe."  
Cas sighed. "Can you carry me to my room, please?" Gabe nodded, picking up Cas and walking slowly down the hall. Gabriel pushed open the door, setting the underweight man down on the bed. Gabriel pulled the covers up to Cas' chin. "I'll bring you some water. Just, sleep for now."  
**********************  
1 day, 20 hours, 15 minutes, 18 seconds.  
**********************  
Dean sped down the road, not really focusing on his surroundings. Sam stared out the window, periodically checking his wrist. When Dean flew past a stopsign, Sam sat up straight. "Dean, slow down!" Dean turned and smiled at his little brother. "Sammy, we'll be fine!" Sam nodded, although his expression was confused. "Okay, Dean, I trust you." 

Out of the corner of his eye, Dean watched a car race out. He slammed on the brakes, but it was too late. The car slammed into the passanger side of the Impala, causing a large dent in the side. But that wasn't what Dean was worried about. He heard a heart-wrenching cry, which he knew came from his brother. Before Dean blacked out, he could've sworn that he heard his father's voice, a shout of "Watch out for Sammy!"  
**********************  
1 day, 19 hours, 18 minutes, 3 seconds  
**********************  
Gabriel checked his clock. It was getting close to his time to meet his soulmate. He popped a candy into his mouth, thinking. Cas needed to know when he'd meet his soulmate. Gabe needed to know when Cas would meet his soulmate. He shook his head. No, no, you can't be the obsessive older brother. But maybe...  
Gabe slid quietly into Cas' room. Carefully, he rolled back the sleeve that covered Cas' watch-wincing at the fresh cuts-and checked the watch. He let out a small noise, then looked at his own watch. He stopped breathing. Gabe's eyes widened. He began breathing again. Gabriel rolled up Cas' sleeve. They'd be meeting their soulmates soon.  
**********************  
1 day, 19 hours, 15 minutes, 12 seconds  
**********************  
"Come on, Sammy, breathe. I need you to breathe, Sammy! Come on. Please."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry


	4. Angel's Wings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...This fic is only going to be six chapters, but I'm going to do a collection of one-shots if y'all want to read? Just letting y'all know.   
> Also trigger warnings:  
> Rape/Non-Con  
> Suicide attempts

*******************  
18 hours, 30 minutes, 15 seconds  
*******************  
The day had gone by uneventfully. Castiel had eaten as much as Gabriel pushed him to, and had gone to bed early. The funny thing though, Gabriel noted, is that Castiel was still sleeping. He heard a little bit of rustling from Cas' room, and as Gabriel turned, he watched Cas walk across the hallway into the bathroom. That's good. Cas was okay. 

Cas was not okay. He'd had the nightmare again, the one where he was back in his old house with Metatron. Metatron-the person who claimed to be his uncle, as well as the person who had molested him for the majority of his life. The worst part about it? Castiel remembered it all. He remembered hiding from his 'uncle', he remembered crying with Gabriel when it was over. He remembered Gabriel confronting Metatron, and he remembered Gabriel getting hit for it. Although, Metatron called it 'smiting'. It was his decision, Castiel reminded himself, it was his decision to do this. No one could stop him. It didn't matter that Metatron was dead, burned to an ash and buried six feet underground with concrete over the urn.   
So he did it. Castiel looked at the pill bottle in his hand, the ones prescribed to him for insomnia. He didn't use them anymore, but Gabriel had kept them around for the days that Cas really needed to sleep. He popped open the lid to the pill bottle, and dumped out a large amount into his hand. Castiel turned on the sink and stuck his head under the faucet, drinking the water straight from the tap. He turned off the tap and threw the pills into his mouth, swallowing as much as he could with the next drink of water. That would be enough.   
Castiel filled the bathtub with water, stripping out of his clothes. He didn't look at the clock on his wrist, it'd be stopping soon. He climbed into the bathtub, closing his eyes. Sleep came soon.  
******************  
18 hours, 10 minutes, 23 seconds.  
******************  
Dean sat next to his brother's bed, looking at the bandaged child next to him. "Come on, Sammy, I'm sorry. I should've payed more attention, but I need you to wake up now." The doctor had told him that Sam was fine, he'd just broken his wrist and bruised a couple of ribs. Both of them were lucky to be alive. The driver in the other car had fallen asleep at the wheel and was currently in the ICU, which Sam had gotten moved out of.  
"Sammy, I'm sorry. I just need you to wake up. You've been asleep for a day, at least. Please, wake up. You're so close to meeting your soulmate. Just a few more hours now. Not long for you. Just....Wake up, Sammy."  
*****************  
17 hours, 3 minutes, 10 seconds.   
****************  
Gabriel pounded on the door. "Cas? Cas, are you okay?" There was no response. Gabriel stepped back from the door. "Alright, Cas, you're going to hate me for this, but it's for you're own good." Gabriel charged at the door, breaking it down. His eyes widened at the sight of his little brother, eyes closed, barely breathing in the bathtub. "Cassie, no." Gabe breathed, looking around the bathroom. He saw the bottle of sleeping pills, his breath hitching in his throat. "Cas, no, no, no, no."   
Gabriel pulled out his phone from his back pocket, dialing 911. "Yes, hello, my brother attempted suicide with...it looks like 15 sleeping pills," tears were rolling down his cheeks as he answered the questions the operator asked. "Please, hurry. He's all I have left..." Gabriel hung up the phone, sobbing quietly as he picked up his little brother. He drained the bathtub, holding his brother close to his chest. He could hear the sirens in the distance, and thanked god that he had gotten a place close to the hospital.  
"Cas, please, hold on. Please, kiddo. You're all I have left. Please."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for all the angst, but it'll all be okay soon.


	5. When The Angels Sing

*****************  
2 hours, 13 minutes, 56 seconds  
****************  
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.  
Sam blinked. Licked his lips. Sat up.  
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.  
The beeping got faster. Sam looked around, seeing a blank white hospital room. Dean sat asleep in the chair next to Sam, his head thrown back and mouth open. "Dean. Dean!" Sam's voice cracked. Dean jerked awake in the chair, his eyes wide. "Sammy?" Dean said softly. Sam nodded. "Sammy!" Dean charged forward and hugged his younger brother, who let out a loud oof.   
"Easy, Dean, easy. My side hurts." Dean sat back, rubbing the back of his head. "Sorry. You're ribs are bruised and your wrist is broken, but you're in fine condition otherwise." Sam smiled. 

Dean sat in his chair, his elbows on his knees, his hands propping up his chin. "Sammy, I'm sorry. This is all my fault. I should've been paying more attention to the road. I should've been driving safely. I promise I'll drive slower from now on. I'm sorry Sam."   
Sam adjusted his bed. "Dean, it's not your fault. Yes, you probably should've slowed down a little, but the other guy-how is the other guy?" Dean sighed.  
"The other man fell asleep at the wheel. He's in the ICU, but he's stabling. I think he'll be fine."  
"What's his name?"  
"Chuck Shurley."  
******************  
1 hour, 54 minutes, 34 seconds  
******************  
Gabriel sat, listening to the steady beeping of Castiel's heart monitor. Cas had been stable after the hospital workers had pumped his stomach of the pills. The doctor had said he'd wake up soon, as Gabe had called 911 fast enough that Cas would be fine.   
Gabriel sat up as the monitor beeped faster. He grabbed Cas' hand, turning over his wrist to read the clock. Both of their clocks were reading the almost same time, counting down at almost the same time. Gabriel smiled. It seemed fitting that they'd meet their soulmates at the same time.   
Castiel rolled his head, slowly waking up. Gabriel smiled, finally being comforted with the thought that his brother would be okay.   
"Hey, kiddo."  
Cas smiled. "Hey Gabe."  
"Can we talk over what you did later, and have you check your clock now?"  
"Yes."  
Cas turned his wrist over, checking his clock.   
"I-I'm meeting my soulmate soon, Gabe!"  
Gabriel smiled. "Yes you are."  
********************  
2 minutes  
********************  
Dean walked down the hallway, Sam by his side. "Come on, Sammy, just a little further. We're almost there." Sam groaned, leaning heavily on Dean. "Dean, please. Can we slow down?" Dean nodded, taking his brother's weight on himself. "Almost there, Sammy, Almost there."  
"Dean, you have one minute left. I have 30 seconds. Let's take a break." Sam moved against a wall, leaning heavily on it.  
A strange man popped his head out of a random room. "Which one of you guy's clock just reached zero?" Sam raised his hand. The man walked up to Sam. "I'm Gabriel, your soulmate. Pleasure to meet you." Gabriel turned to Dean. "I think your soulmate's inside."  
Dean nodded, slowly moving into the room. He saw a small, frail man lying on a hospital bed. The man had dark black hair and piercing blue eyes, the kind that made Dean's breath hitch in his throat. "Hi," Dean whispered.  
"Hi." The man replied.   
"Dean."  
"Castiel."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I'm taking off for a camp and thing's are wrecking havoc in my house


	6. Dear Lover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter...I may do an epilogue, but man, I've come far with this fic. This is by far my most popular fic, and I have to thank y'all. Y'all're the ones that really make this fic actually move along and have a plot. Sure, I'll keep writing even if there are not many people who are reading, but when people are actually reading, damn, it makes it all that much better. Goddamn, I love y'all. Thank y'all so much.

*******  
Some matter of time later  
*******  
Dean was standing, his hands cupped around Castiel's. "Cas, when I first met you, you were lying in a hospital bed. You had a cannula in your nose, and you were obviously fighting to stay awake. You hadn't checked your clock in years, and you had tried to kill yourself a few hours earlier. But when I looked into your eyes, those beautiful, bright blue eyes, I knew I could never let you go. I knew that no matter what, I'd never let you leave me. You were shy at first, and you didn't want to tell me what you were in the hospital for. It took weeks, even months for you to tell me about your struggles. But you did. I remember that day, you were shaking, wrapped in a blanket and surrounded by used tissues. You were sick, and even then I thought you were beautiful. Because you are. So, I vow to never leave you. I vow to love and care for you until the end of my natural life. I vow to take care of you, and our cats and dogs and maybe children. But no matter what, in sickness and in health, I will always love you." Cas smiled. "Dean Winchester. I have so many memories with you, the day at the amusement park, the aquarium, the multiple times we've fallen asleep on the couch and woken up to our cats batting at our faces, and when I look back on the memories, I smile. Even the days that are not so good, the days where we yell and scream and fight, we always made up before we fell asleep. You've made me learn to treasure life and every moment that I have with you." Cas paused. "So today, I cannot imagine myself getting married to anyone other than you. My wings, my life, my protector. You've helped me fly, you've helped me live. Dean Winchester. I love you."  
"Do you have the rings?"  
Dean turned to Sam, who gave Dean the ring that he'd picked out for Cas, a silver ring with black wings. Sam winked, flashing off the slim gold band that Gabe had given Sam a few weeks ago.   
Cas turned to Gabe, who gave Cas the ring that he'd picked out for Dean, a gold ring with "Forever and always" engraved on the inside. Gabe winked. "Good job, kiddo."   
Dean slid his ring onto Cas' hand, and Cas did the same.   
"You may now kiss the groom."  
There were cheers. Cas and Dean had finally had their happily ever after, just a week after Sam and Gabe had had theirs.   
And it couldn't be more perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that it's shorter than usual, but I can't help but keep going over all of the other fics that I've written. My first original one, a Drarry fic, which you can find on my wattpad account. That is a train wreck, and I apologize. I have to say check out my other fics, but, well, you don't have to. Okay, I guess this is the final goodbye. I love y'all.


End file.
